I've been thinking about how to stay feeling good when conversations drift into low vibing territory (graphic descriptions of someone's illness, street crimes, and the bad economy, for example). I have definitely been resisting hearing about bad/sad news.
So, I am looking for ways to feel good without resisting the conversation. The idea I had today was to say 10 things that make me feel good every time I find myself in a conversation that doesn't feel good to me. I might even begin to welcome conversations that initially don't feel high vibing to me because they give me the opportunity to be 10x more positive!!
What do you think? Do you have ways of gracefully shifting conversations without resisting them? Let us know by making a comment.
High Vibe Time is a 3-part webinar series exploring High Vibing: What high vibing is, why it works and how you can be more high vibing in your every day life. If you weren't able to join us for the series in October, you can watch the recordings by clicking on the respective links. Watch HVT Webinar 1 by clicking HERE. During the webinar I promised to send a link to the Ten High Vibe Practices handout -- here it is: Ten High Vibe Practices. In HVT Webinar 2 we talked about some of the research supporting high vibe living. Click HERE to view HVT Webinar 2. In HVT Webinar 3 we focused on how to incorporate these practices into your daily life. Click HERE to view HVT Webinar 3. Here are two links I referenced during Webinar 3: http://www.thetappingsolution.com/ and https://www.heartmath.org/tag/freeze-frame-technique/.
Do you have any high vibing stories to share? Let me know, I love hearing from you!
This question came up in my last High Vibe Time webinar. What is the best way to encourage someone who is "low" vibing (someone who is depressed, negative, angry)? We've all encountered this, sometimes with people we love and care about, sometimes with people we just have to be around… What can we do? Some great suggestions were made by webinar participants from their personal experiences:
1. We really can't change anyone else, so the first thing is to stay high vibing yourself. This serves as a model to others without you having to say or do anything to change them.
2. What we focus on expands: take a blank piece of paper and write every possible positive aspect that you can about the person/situation. See if you can fill the whole page with positive aspects and appreciations.
3. Remember to breathe, especially if you find yourself getting triggered.
4. Try to send them love – bring energy in to your body as you inhale and imagine sending loving energy out from your heart as you exhale.
5. We're all on our own paths! It may feel like we know what's best for someone else, but we each need to discover that for ourselves. Sometimes we remember to practice our high vibing ways, and sometimes we don't, and it's all okay!
What are your thoughts? What works best for you? Share your views by making a comment here.
I love dancing. Read about six ways dancing can make your life better in my article titled Dance Yourself Happy. Today I had an incredible High Vibing dancing experience with Matt Harding, of Where the Heck is Matt? fame. Matt travels all around the world connecting with people by dancing joyfully, showing us all the goodness there is everywhere. Matt was in Chicago for two dancing events, and I couldn't find the one I was planning on going to. I met a guy in a rainbow shirt, Marco, who had been at the first event earlier in the day and was looking for the Matt dancing crowd in location two. We looked all over (and it was a very hot day), and after about 40 minutes gave up. Marco gave me the Dancing with Matt magnet he had purchased earlier in the day as my "consolation" prize for not being able to meet Matt and dance with him. It was a very sweet gesture. I was happy to have met Marco, and to have discovered parts of Chicago I had not yet explored (including the Maggie Daley park). I took a rest in the nearby Art Institute (air conditioned) and then all of a sudden I felt inspired to look in a part of the park I had not been to earlier, even though the event had started over an hour ago and was sure to be over. I found the venue, but there was no sign of any Matt Harding dancing activity. Then I saw a man that looked like Matt leaving the park with a young boy in tow. I asked "Are you Matt?" and he said YES! I not only got to meet Matt one-on-one, but we got to DANCE together! View the video here. This is a high vibing experience I'll remember forever. Thank you Universe, and Thank you Matt :)
I know what I want, and I have been setting my intentions. But then the practicalities step in: Before I can get started I need to prepare my marketing materials, have my website be perfect, have my new Facebook organization page complete, design new business cards, and have the important elevator speech rehearsed and ready... I can't start, because I'm not ready, things aren't perfect. I find myself worrying about the cursed "hows". Today I asked myself what I would say to a friend or coaching client who was in my shoes. I would say "Just put one foot in front of the other. Take the next right step. Don't worry about what the hows or having everything in order. Do what feels good, and everything you need will just show up." And I have plenty of evidence for that. I know how it feels to let go and be surprised and delighted by the Universe providing everything I need. So, here I go, I am doing for myself what I talk to others about: Just getting started!
This morning my good friends Renee and Juliet helped me out by being participants in my first "test" High Vibe Time teleseminar. It went great, we all raised our vibrations and I gained confidence in my ability to do this. I'm reminding myself that it's not about waiting until everything is "perfect" or until I feel "really ready" to start. I declare right now, I'm ready! I have the impulse to jump in and get started on my new venture now, and allow the path to reveal itself in an organic and beautiful way. I'm being diligent about doing my own High Vibe practices, and everything else is optional Here we go! Let's see what happens....
En route to a new dancing experience – contra dancing --- Jeannine and I were talking about practical ways of coping with overwhelming work demands. Jeannine is teaching 3rd graders online for the first time and there's just a lot to do in August and September to prepare. While all the HV tools are helpful in changing lifestyle, sometimes you need some healthy quick fixes. Here's a list of strategies we came up with for coping in the short term with a high work load.
- Take the time to nourish yourself. If I don't have energy, I'm not able to get the work done, and my work isn't the best quality. To make sure I get exercise, I take walks in the morning before I turn on the computer. On days when I don't manage to do this, I definitely feel the difference. Making a date with someone else to walk or go out dancing or something fun is also a good way to make sure you are taking nourishing breaks from work.
- Have healthy snacks on hand. This is particularly important for those days with back-to-back meetings. Almonds, walnuts, raisins, hummus and washed carrots from the farmers market, almond butter (by the spoonful or on rice cakes), and hard boiled eggs are some basics.
- Set good boundaries. We often expect more of ourselves than other people do. When someone says to me I'm not working this weekend so I'll work on it Monday, I'm fine with that and it sounds very reasonable. I've started to mark time in my schedule that is my "unstructured" or free time, and don't schedule meetings or work in those times. I also find it helpful (even though I don't always remember to do this) to set a timer for an hour or so when working at the computer and when it rings taking a break.
- Done is good enough. This one came from my friend Holly and it's a great reminder that completing a task is "good enough" which helps to avoid getting caught up in spending more time than is justified on making it "perfect".
- Start your day by doing some small non-work task that needs to get done. I have found that when I do something small that needs to get done – reply to a personal email, pay a bill, do the dishes – then when I get to work I feel like I've already accomplished something I needed to do and I'm on track before I've even started! This gives me a little boost to start my work day.
Today's post is inspired by a conversation I had with my friend HJ yesterday about how there were things she knew she should be doing, but she wasn't doing them, like eating well and taking her vitamins. Whether it's some big thing we want to do, or a small piece of it, what stops us from doing what we believe will make us feel better? More importantly, what will get us started on taking actions we want to be taking?
I'm a big believer in breaking actions into small steps. Once you have the small step that you want to take, how do you decide what to do next? In the May 25, 2015 blog post I mentioned an article by Christine Carter, a sociologist and "happiness expert".
Christine's approach essentially is to start small, and link it with another activity you're already doing. She also emphasizes the importance of fun and taking time to recharge during the day by taking breaks that are restful or playful (and definitely not something you have on your to do list). The breaks can be brief, but important to take.
So, HJ, here's a thought for you... you like going to Bridge Base, right?
Could you link taking your vitamins with playing? The first time you sign in to play on a given day, take a vitamin! Put your vitamins next to your ipad, and when you open to play, pop your vitamin in your mouth. This small action, linked with something you are already doing and that you enjoy can help you be healthier and happier (and a better bridge player!) one game at a time.
What do people think? What strategies do you use to develop new habits?
Visit Christine Carter's website here, and be sure to check out her free online class "Cracking the Habit Code". http://www.christinecarter.com/
I believe it is possible to "do less" and get more done, and be happier at the same time! By "do less", I mean less efforting, less cramming it all in, less adherence to the To-Do list, and more being present, resting, taking good care of yourself, and following your inspiration. Christine Carter calls this strategic slacking in a great article Eight Ways to Achieve More While Working Less. I recently gave a talk in my Toastmasters Club about the research supporting doing less to accomplish more. To see the YouTube video click here.
Also found another article about the "scientific case for doing nothing" in an online journal called Experience Life. Click here to read the Upside of Downtime.
What does your experience say? Do you get more done when you're more in the groove, and "doing" less?
I just read an interview with Dan Harris in the August 2014 issue of Mindful magazine. When asked about his vision for the future of mindfulness, he responds that he would love if mindfulness became the next public health revolution, like "brushing your teeth, going to the gym, and listening to your doctor." I agree with Dan. Imagine if mindfulness was part of every child's education -- not just in the US, but everywhere in the world. Imagine what your day to day life could look like if everyone you interacted with was more present, and you were more present, and neither of you were carrying with you into the interaction residues of pain from earlier experiences... imagine if you were more resilient than you had thought possible, and no longer lived in fear of possible future painful experiences... imagine if your health providers practiced mindfulness and were able to fully be with you when treating you. As Dan says in the article, when we talk about mindfulness in a different way, a more practical and accessible way, it can reach a broader audience. I think the results of more people becoming mindful will be happier, more effective, and healthier people living in a cleaner and more peaceful world. Practicing mindfulness is a win-win, for everyone. Dan writes about his experiences becoming mindful in his book 10% Happier.
Had a long walk and talk with my friend ML today, topped off with tea. The question came up, what do you do when you are talking with someone who is negative, complaining, talking about things that don't make us feel good. Here are 4 ways we thought about to stay in a positive, high vibing place:
1. Avoidance -- don't make plans with that person or call them. This may work some of the time, but takes energy and obviously doesn't work if you have to be with them, or otherwise would want to be with them.
2. Change the subject. I have a friend who sometimes talks about things that make me uncomfortable (health concerns and bad experiences). I was honest with her, told her I sympathized with her but have a vivid imagination and don't feel good when she's talking about that subject, would it be ok if we changed the subject? Of course she agreed, and doesn't talk with me about those types of subjects.
3. Friends that know about my high vibe orientation understand when I say I believe we attract what we focus on, and I don't want more of (whatever negative thing that came up in conversation), so let's talk about what we do want!
4. Pre-pave! I think the best way to have only good feeling interactions, is to set my intentions beforehand about how I want things to go, how I want to feel, and to keep myself in a high vibing place so I'm a vibrational match to what I want. That way what I don't want either doesn't come into my experience, or if it does, I don't notice it.